What is family...

As a child, family to most means a mom and dad, along with siblings. In most cases that is true. But in today's society, family is so different. 

I have two older brothers, who in the last year I have seen maybe once, and talked to maybe four or five times. The way we work makes it hard to see and or talk. I won't lie, it hurts at times. Since my parents have passed, I almost feel like I am totally an only child. But, that's where the " other family" works in.

Since I have cleaned up my act, and got my life on the right path, I have found a great church family. And it's more than just finding God. I know have folks to talk guns, work, trucks, tons of things! No, they do not replace the two that I can't seem to connect with, but it helps. 

And then you have a work family. And I am here to tell y'all, I can't stand half of mine. You know what I am talking about, the ones you don't admit your related to! I do work with a few great guys, don't get me wrong, but there are a few I would like to string up by their toes too!

 I guess what I am trying to say is, family is what you make it. I have found a few " brotha's from another motha's, but do miss my own flesh and blood. 

Just wanted to put that out there

Big Man Out

Tank

Why I do it...

For any one who knows me, knows I volunteer my time in the fall to a group of kids that has tugged at my heart strings for the last couple of years.

Now keep in mind, I am a bald, very bearded, 300 pound man. I have many tattoos, along with my ZZTop style sunglasses. 

I coach 4th through 6th grade cheer leading. Yes, you read that right, cheer leading. It started out as kind of a joke, but grew on me very fast. I started out as just a helper, and now run the program. And to tell y'all the truth, I wouldn't want to give it up. I have even told folks that I think I have more fun at it than what those girls do.

One of the things I love about it is the look on the new girls face when they see me! The next best look comes from the parents... But they soon learn that this biker looking guy is nothing but a huge softy. 

But back to the point of this post. Why do I do it, that is simple. First, I love it! It's fun, it's something that I feel is showing these girls a positive male rule model, and if I can help a few, it's all been worth it. I may be just teaching a few simple cheers and moves, but those girls have taught me kindness, patience, compassion, and tenderness. Don't get me wrong, I had all those traits prior to this, but when those young ladies showed me that they could see past everything that is on the outside of me... Well, that my friends is priceless no matter. They can see what's inside. And to them, that's all that matters! 

Every year, I start of with a short speech. To sum it up, it pretty much goes like this. When you are with me, no one is better than the next. I do not have captains, and do not put up with bully's. Y'all are equal, no matter on size, age, color, on everything. We are here to have fun and learn, so lets do this!
Over the years of being the coach, I have heard comments of why is he here, what does he know, he is too fat, he looks like a real loser and on and on. These folks only looked at what they could see on the outside, not what I was offering from within. But, within a few short days, I had a group of girls who was ready to tackle me, push me over and braid my beard.
And that my friends, is why I do it...

Big Man Out

Tank

Could y'all handle a redneck..

Well, do you think you could? No, not the toothless, moon shining, hell raising, outlaws that we are said to be. I talking the real folks who work hard, are out spoken, pray, raise fine kids, stick to their guns no matter what.

I am going to step on some toes here, and to tell you the truth, I don't give a damn. As I watch the news, and as I watch my country fall faster than me on thin ice, I am getting madder by the minute! Why in the world do we need to strike a country that killed its own, better yet, aid a sworn enemy of America? We don't! Truth is folks, people have forgotten who we are, what we stand for, and how we got here! We fought hard, tooth and nail years and years ago to become free, not pushed around! 

Do y'all remember what our Forefathers did for us, better yet, died for us. Down in D.C. is a couple pieces of paper that was wrote to keep us free, yet folks have seem to forgotten that! Yes, I am pro-gun. Yes, I am pro-God. Yes, I am also pro-life... You do not have to tell me that, I know, and so does anyone who really knows me. My point is, too many folks can not think for themselves, and let either the government or media tell them what to think. All of opinions differ, we all know that, but what I do not understand is why folks have stopped thinking on their own.

And here is something for y'all to think about. Why are we buying gas at almost 3.50-4.00 a gallon, but yet sell our own food grown here for pennies on a dollar? If those folks who sell us oil for over a hundred dollars a barrel, why don't we sell our grain for a hundred dollars a bushel? Why are we allowing forien companies buy not only our precious oil, coal, and gas, but our land and businesses? Why, I do not get it.

Our so called government is trying to take our rights from us one by one. From the guns we own to our speech. Tyranny it is folks, the same damn thing that our Forefathers fought, I am trying to fight! Welfare, do you really need me to say more? Y'all have seen it, if  I need a drug test to work, should you also need one for all the stuff my tax money is buying? I have seen it myself in stores, carts of food and the next thing you see, a e.b.t. card whipped out to pay. And here I am with just enough to get through the week. I am sick of it!

Now, back to the redneck part. Us rednecks want to get back to work hard for what you want. Truth to be told on ALL news broadcasts. For us to get back to our everyday fight for Freedom. To lend a helping hand, not our paychecks.

And that is the way I see it

Big Man Out

Tank

The softer side of me...part 1

How many of you out there can say you have a perfect marriage? If y'all say ya do, I know y'all are fibbing to me. But I will tell you, that I myself have one of the best marriages out there, and I will give y'all a bit of an insight why.

Amy and I were married way back in 1996, 17 years ago. And the funny thing is, we get along better now than we did back then. No two ways about it, in 17 years, we put each other through hell and back! But we did something that most couples do not do any more, we worked at it.

As y'all can see, we have been through thick and thin together. But ya know what, I wouldn't have it any other way today. What we put each other through has made us, in my eyes, one of the strongest couples out there. Between our faith in the Great Lord above, and in each other, we pushed forward. I don't want to sound stupid, but I think we both are kind of thankful for those times.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are still days that we can drive each other about half crazy, but that's some of the fun of it. Make time for one another, that is one of the most important things to do! And have fun with it! Share some interests with each other. But just try to do them together

I'm feeling brave...

I was asked by my wife, and a few of you out there to write this here blog. Now that I am doing so, I am going to ask y'all for something...

Y'all said you like my views, my wording, the way I put things. Is there anything that you would like to have me post on. But, keep in mind, it'll be the way I see things...

For those of you on FB, send me a pm, for others who have stumbled onto this blog, ya can email me at cutler778@gmail.com

Hope to hear from y'all

Big Man Out

Tank

How short is life...

 As I sat in the funeral home, it hit me. Who are these people, I asked my self? Then it really hit, the only time I see these folks are when someone passes on. How sad is that? 

 Every family is nuts in my book. You could find twenty things to talk about mine, and I bet I could find twenty five on yours. But instead of starting there, let me take you all back with me about thirty to thirty five years ago...shall we?

 On a Sunday afternoon, as you walked to the house, the instant smell of the coal stove was there. Upon entering, you could smell food, hear all the folks talking and tons of laughter coming from the living room, where we would all meet by a warm morning stove that was in there. Horse figurines, and photos where in a side room to the left, where all of us kids would be. Soon, we would be out side playing. A few of us in the yard, and a few being naughty down at the railroad tracks. Be we knew who each other was. Young to old, Aunts and Uncles, we knew. First and second cousins playing right where we had left off from the past Sundays before. I can remember the men playing cards, and the ladies in the kitchen helping my Grandma with the meal. After you ate, we had about an hour or so of playtime left, then back to home. 

 Now, if I fast forward a bit, it was the day that started it all. My Grandma had passed away. From that day on, the family seem to drift apart. What was once a close, strong knit group, was now not. 

I had heard bits of who was mad at who, or this one did this or that to this one. But I never took the time to call, stop in, or anything. Why should I, that is what I always thought. No one calls me, why should I call them. I'll tell y'all why I should of took the time, it's bad enough that my wife and kids didn't know these folks, but at the same time, I didn't either.

I've shared before with y'all about my parents passing on, well, my two brothers and I have allowed ourselves drift apart too. Why is it that we do this? Is it that we are too busy on ourselves, making money, our own family's...what is it? 

If I have family that reads this, I  sorry for falling short on my end, life is short and we all need one another. We may not think so at times, but we do. With that said, I will try to do better on my end..,

Big Man Out

Tank

September Eleventh, my thoughts of this day...

As I sit and try to put words together about today, I now know why I am proud to be an American.

12 years ago today, America stop. We all could not believe what we were seeing and hearing that day. Planes flown into buildings just to kill us. The World Trade Center falls, the pentagon was hit, and right down the road from me, one crashed into a field. Thousands of people are killed and thousands injured that day.

It was a huge sucker punch for us all. We the people of the United States of America stumbled a bit from it, but we regained our footing and swung back. 

But that is not the reason l am proud. Today, 12 years later, a group of Muslims were planning a million Muslim march. In my eyes, that is just wrong. Do not get me wrong, I my self do not hold every single Muslim accountable over today, not at all. In fact, those Muslims that live here with us were also a victim of that day. But to plan something like this on a day that has breed hate, anger, and discontent... Well, that my friends is just not a very bright move if you ask me. In fact, our president allowed this to happen, along with all those others in D.C.. Another not so bright idea. But just as the word got out to what was going on, two million bikers, that's right, 2,000,000 bikers were planning a protest of their own.

Now the folks in D.C. Thought they was going to pull a fast one on these here bikers, and deny a protest permit. But a few smart folks pointed out that "We The People" do not need a form to stand together. No folks, we don't. You see, just a couple hundred years ago, our Forefathers gave us all in America a piece of paper that allows us to do so.

Now from what I have read, some of the local police were given orders to stop these here Americans from riding their bikes in the the Capitol. But y'all see, it backfired on them. I have sat here tonight with a huge grin on my face, as I watch video after video of these groups of bikers being escorted by state police, local police, and by local towns people. 

When all said and done, from what I hear the Muslim count was about 20 to 25, and the count on the biker end of it is anywhere from 900,000 to 1.2 million! And that is only part of the reason I am proud.

It's all of you out there! You know who you are. Our vets, police, emt's, firemen, all of you. The folks who work day in and day out to either keep me free, or help keep me safe. My hat is off to y'all, and I say thank you! I am also proud due to those who refuse to forget, like myself. I for one believe that even those who were not born yet, or too young to remember, should watch clips of that day. Not the ones that stop just before the planes hit, the whole video. Let it be a reminder that tomorrow is no promised day. 

Never Forget, Never

Big Man Out

Tank

Have I failed...

 I guess as a father, a parent, a dad, at one point all is men ask ourselves that very question. I know I am at the moment. The next question in my head, do they even know or care when we feel this way? As I try to stay calm, and try to advise the best way I know how to, I watch the eyes go closed as I speak, and as my wife speaks. Between the back talk, and your not my age comments, I feel a demon growing inside my cheast. Not really sure I caged it back up before it poked its nasty head out, but I did.

Now, I sit here at a loss. Where did I go wrong, what didn't I say right, what am I to do now? Millions of thoughts and question that I know will go unanswered. I blame society a lot for this. Why you might ask, oh trust me, y'all are gonna hear it...starting now

 Turn on any tv channel and tell me what you see. Teens drinking, doing dope of some kind, having kids at a way too young age, and it goes on and on. Teens today see this every moment of everyday. Remember when MTV had music on it? Not a bunch of sex starved teen drunks! Better yet, how about when God was still allowed in school? Not now, it's not the cool thing, and too many others kicked him out. I am not an idiot, I myself know that sex and everything else I listed, sells. And the ones selling it, don't care who buys it, as long as they get their money. 

 Folks, I am no preacher man, and I can not quote the bible to y'all, but I do know when we're all in a heap of trouble. We have let the media, in so many ways, take over our young. I can honestly say I miss the days of looney tunes and Barney, along with the rugrats and bear in the big blue house. The days I knew were still harmless and innocent. Now we have 16 and pregnant, jersey shore, bad girls club, y'all get the idea. And how about the social media? My space, Facebook, texting, and the half million others. It's pretty bad when a parent has to look up what letters mean, like some kind of code. And along with these neat ways of talking on cell phones, laptops, iPods, and whatever else is out there, kids think they are smart by locking or deleting things. Well, that's where this here dumb redneck ( at least they think so) out smarts.

 Cell phones I pay for can be shut off. iPods I worked for to buy, well, they smash very very easy. I have even watched a video of a dad who saw what his girl was up to, and used a 44 mag on a laptop. With the price of ammo now days, I'll just run it over a few dozen times. The back talking and disrespect, that's simple too... It's called the back hand. If I would of spoke to either one of my parents the way kids do today, well lets just say I would of done it only once.

 I don't about y'all out there, but since when do folks who don't know you, or your family for that matter, know what is best for your child? If you are in Walmart and raise your hand or voice to correct your child, not theirs, yours, they can call the cops on you. I know there are children out there who do get abused and beat, and I know it to has to stop, but when you have that mom in the store trying her best to get her kids to behave, and someone who thinks they know best gets involed...come on folks, wake up!

 I know I will never win father of the year, and I don't think my kids will say I'm the greatest dad, but I am trying my best. I just hope my own kids know this. I hope they know that I love them. And I pray to the Great Lord above for help. I just hope and pray that I am doing my part right, and they day will come when kids know that us men, the dads, fathers, parents, are trying. 

That's about all I have on this subject at the moment, and I'll just add this, am I failing, or is it the world in whole?

Lost and Heartbroken

Big Man Out

Tank

Life is music, or music is life...

If you had a theme song right at this moment, what would it be? I could be doing something, and a song comes on, and I'm like that's what I would do this or that to. I know y'all have done the same, so stop laughing. But think about it, how much has music impacted your life?

 As a young child, I was forced to hear it all. From the big band era, classic country, acid rock, and even disco...yeah, I have a brother who is still "staying alive". But for that, I am thankful. It has lead me to such a vast love of all kinds of music.

 But let's be clear, my favorite is what is know as southern fried rock. A style of music that seems to be able to speak the words I can not at times. Bands like Lynyrd Skynyrd, Stone Black Cherry, Blackfoot, Molly Hatchet, and the list goes on and on. To me, the words can hit so hard it hurts. Skynyrd has a newer album out that has a song called "ready to fly". The first verse had me bawling the time I heard it. As you may have read, I lost my Mum, and in this song, so do they. Simple man, my Mum had pretty much told me that growing up. Flirtin' with disaster, need I say more?

 From Hank Jr., to Kid Rock... From Ozzy to Bill Haley, I can relate. I know for a fact, that everything that has happened in my life, I can find a song for it. The first song I heard when my son was born was keeper of the stars, and my baby girl, and I should of know as soon as I heard it I was in trouble, smoke on the water. When I look at my lovely wife, a bunch come to mind. Million dollar view, make the world go away, love me tender, and the one that hits the heart, I won't need you anymore.

 Just a few short months ago, power in the blood, and he lives really hit home. I had the honor of being Baptized with both of my kiddos. A day that will live in my heart forever. The Great Lord above has blessed me in so many ways , and as Trace Atkins sang, I'm proud to be here! With that said, I do have to say I have also been blessed with a half decent voice to sing with. I love to sing solo, solo you can't hear me!

 But back to the question, let me know what your song is at the moment. Don't be shy, I don't judge.

Big Man Out

Tank

For ALL children...

For those of you who have me on their Facebook, you have already read something similar to what I am about to post. I was asked if I would write it, or post it again. This post is for all children, young and old. If you have parents, as we all do, this is for you...

  In march of 2010, I lost my Mum .The following year in August, I had lost my Dad. Unlike so many children out there, I had my time to say I loved them, what they ment to me, and that I was truly sorry for what I had put them both through in the past. I thanked them both for everything they had gave me and my family, and for all they had taught me growing up. With my Mum, I had the honor of taking her one of her last meals, which she ate with us all, I got to have her tell me" oh Joseph Daniel behave" one last time. My dad, I got to see his warm smile and a good hearted giggle on last time. Yes, I was a lucky child indeed. The good book does not promise us tomorrow. And too many take that for granted. So for all the "children" out there, this is for you.

  As a parent, this I say to my children. Please honor what I say and ask of you. It is not done to be cruel or mean. Take the time to get to know the real me. Learn from what I say, and from what I do. I am just like you, I am human. I am not perfect, and do and will make mistakes every now and then. I want you to know, that as your dad, yes I am your best friend, but I have to be your parent first. I look out for all you do no matter what. I will try my best to keep you moving ahead in life, no matter when or where. I will love you no matter what. I will admit now that you may make me angry at time, and may hurt my feelings, but i love you no matter what. Know now that when I say no, it's not to hurt you or to be mean. I wish for you to understand that I too was young, that I have been there and done that. I know what is and is not a good idea.

Please learn all you can from me now, I may not be with you tomorrow. Laugh with me while times are good, and mourn with me when they are not. In my old age, hold my hand as I held yours as a child. Talk to me now, while I understand everything you say. Remember, I am always only a phone call or text away. We all are together under one roof now, but the day will come when you are grown and out on your own. Even as I write this now, I can't help to think that day is coming, and coming fast. I do hope I have taught you well, and that in your age and my age, you are able to say that you are proud to have me as your dad as I am of my children.

Our lives are short, and days move so fast. What I just wrote is what we all would love to say to our children. Like I said at the start, I was a very lucky child... Will you be

Big Man Out

Tank

Old man mountain...

I sat there trying my best to think of a way to let my son know about the feelings of young men and ladies. I couldn't for the life of me think of a good way to put it. Then it hit me what I was called by a passer by at work one day. With a slight breeze moving my long gray beard, a gent drove past and called me old man mountain. I just kind of nodded then, and never thought much about it... Till now.

What I am about to write, well, it's for all men. From the young teens who are just now starting to date, to the older men, married or starting over. It's the way I see it, and the best way I know how to put it out there.

Lets start off with us guys. We are what you could call a mountain. For the most part, were bold, rugged, and are in all shapes and sizes. One can not really move us, we're to stubborn for that. You can change the landscape with a bit of trimming, but it's still the same old mountain. The part that men are like a mountain comes full swing when you step on it. Yes, you might leave a foot print, but other than that, nothing really changed. Us guys know what it is like to be walked on, dug up a bit, even shoved around a bit.

But let's take a look at the ladies now. I like to think of them as a flower. Like a mountain, they to are in all shapes and sizes, can be trimmed, even transplanted. But you can not step on that flower without damn near killing it. See, if you step on that flower, it gets crushed from the weight of your foot. If its not killed, it's damaged. It might still grow, but not the way it was intended too.

Guys, I guess what I am getting at, is watch when you step, you never know what flower you are going to damage in you walk through life. Always tread with a light foot. Look before you just plant your feet firmly on the ground. And that my friends, is the way I see it

Big Man Out

Tank

An ol' pair of boots...

   As you driving, you look to the side and see an ol' pair of boots. Wore out soles, broken laces, and the toes worn out. Now, here is what I want you to do, close your eyes, and try to imagine walking in them. How many miles have they gone, how many hours were they stood in. Could you walk a mile in them? Would you have what it takes? What if there was pain or torment?

 People today are so quick to fire off and judge others without walking a mile in their " ol' pair of boots". Do you have any idea what that person you are judging or talking about has gone through? Could you even stand the pain that would come from it? For those of you on Facebook or other social media have seen posts about the kid with glasses, the fat kid, the cutter, but do you know how it feels?

I may only be 40, but I have been through some things that I know for a fact, most out there could never last five minutes in my boots. I have talked to people, listened deeply to their problems and knew I could never walk in theirs. Yet still today, some folks think they know it all, or they know best. And there is no age limit on this, I am talking the young 10 and 11 year olds all the way up. All I am going to say to finish this... " Walk a mile in their ol' boots"

Big Man Out

Tank

When it's put out there...

   Life is short, we all know that. With that said, why not try to do your best, and help people out. Either with some kind of good works, some wise words, or just a helping hand. Anyone who does know me, knows I will pull over to change a flat, stand in between a fighting couple, whatever. I teach cheer leading for crying out loud.
  If one reads this, or any blog out there, and it helps someone, that is a huge plus for this crazy world.  I love the blogs that are from the heart, you know, the ones with meaning. Someone might say, why would you ever post that... Why not, it could save someone.
  I guess what I am trying to post here tonight is, take time to not only help one another, but never stop learning!

Big Man Out

Tank

What would you do?

Let me tell you a bit of the lady two days, then I ask you all,"what would you do"? Amy, Jade and myself were our and about, going for a little drive Friday evening. I had just asked Jade if she would want to go to out local fish hatchery to look at those ever so yummy looking trout swimming around, when we seen him. Who you ask. A short, filthy looking man. He had some wild untamed hair, and his beard was even wilder looking. He looks like he has not ate in a very long time, and his stride was a slow pace. When we rounded the corner of the road, he was flailing his arms in the air, a plastic bag in one hand and a backpack in the other. At this point of time, he also appeared to be either talking or yelling. I didn't really know what to do, so I just spun around and went back to him. I asked if all was ok or if he needed help. The reply I got was," I'm just beat and battered", and that is all I could understand. With that said, he just started walking on his way. From where we spotted him, Amy and I both thought he may have been drunk, he was just up the road from a local bar. Without thinking too much on it, we turned around and went to look at the fish. Now on to the next day, Saturday, 24 hours later, guess who we see walking...yep, same guy. This time when I went back, I got out of the SUV and walked up to him. Told him who I was and that username him yesterday. I asked where he might be heading, and the answer was something to hear in it's self. He told me he was heading to Portland Oregon. Only thing I could say back is"wow, your a long ways off bud". He then went into a rant of being sick of this country, and wanting out. Once again,I asked if there was anything I could do. Same reply back, moving. From that he just went on his way. The part that got to me, just up the block was a group of people, who pretty much did everything they could to get out of his way. Don't get me wrong, I know most would after seeing this guy. I am not going to lie to you all, I spent the night worrying about this guy. Does he know where he is, is he off meds, what if it rains, what if he gets hit walking at night, tons of thoughts. After church today, I told Amy I had To go look for him. My son Joey, another male Doug from our church and myself went to see if we could find him. After trolling through the next 5 towns we had no luck. I pray the great Lord above is looking out for him, and I hope he does find what he is looking for. But like the title of this post asks... What would you do? Would you care enough to stop? Would you be brave enough to get out of a safe SUV to talk? Would you even take time out of your day to try to look and help? If you are out today, and see him or anybody down on their luck, what would you do?                                                Big Man Out.         Tank