Going through Facebook this morning, I received a private message from a good friend asking me where my blog went. I didn't want to come out and say that I felt like it was a waste of time, or nobody read it anyways, so I wiggled around the question. After thinking on this a bit, I thought it must of made some sort of impact.
I am one who is not good at wording, right along side of spelling ( thank God for auto correct ), but to know that I had one person engaged for a few moments felt good.
We'll see how it goes this time around again and hopefully I can keep myself going!
Big Man Out
Tank
First, let me start this off by telling all the moms out there, Happy Mothers Day!
Second, I have to give a huge shout out to my lovely wife Amy! The mother of my two children. She has one of the biggest hearts out there and does a wonderful job at motherhood!
Third, the two ladies who changed their own lives when Amy came into this world, Marylee and Lois. Without those two hearts at work, I may have never met her.
Now to the hard part, my very own Mum. She may no longer be with us here on this Earth, but I really feel she is keeping her eye on " her boys". Mum, I know I was not the best child, and I gave you many sleepless nights, but without you, I myself may not be here. Until the Lord calls me home, I will love and misd you daily.
And a shout out to the moms out there who tried their best like my own Mum to keep me from trouble, thanks for all you did!
I have not been here for a long time, in fact, the heading of this one caught my eye as soon as I opened up my blog. I had a title, but nothing to go with it. No words to fill in that huge blank spot at the bottom.
Funny that should be the first thing I see today, that pretty much is how I am feeling. We all have those days. It comes from things that might happen on a regular basis or might be triggered by something said.
Are you born a failure? Some might argue that no we are not, but I am here to say, we are. See, we're born sinners, every single one of us. That was a let down huh? But by Gods grace, we are saved from that sin, and can move on with life.
Now some of you might be saying to yourself right now, "Tank, why you getting all religious on us for". Simple answer to that for ya... I felt the need to write it out today. Something was pushing my heart to just let it out. So I guess me seeing that unfinished post was meant to be for today.
The funny thing about our Lords great grace is, he gives it, not the folks around you. You see, when he says you are forgiven, its done....now us folks down here, thats a completely different story. I've even said this, "I might forgive, but I'll never forget". Is that the way it's to work? Not at all!
Admit it, Y'all have said it, and better yet, just be honest with yourself to admit it. I for one know I have wronged a few folks in my life, and there has been some that have me. But if we all continue to throw a backlash of reminders at each other, we're not going to move forward very well at all. In fact, we just might fall back a couple steps until we realize that we are beyond the point the wrong started.
Life has a real funny way of taking one small mess and turning it into something that looks like the storm of the century hit. The world we live in today is a huge "born failure" mess, the bright side of it, we can change it.
I guess all I am trying to say is, if you are going to forgive, then forget. If its something that you can not move on from, do not say it.
Big Man Out
Tank
So many times I have stood tall and firm on things I have said. I have proven over and over that if you want to push an issue with me, I will shove twice as hard back.
My life has been a roller coaster ride, many ups, downs, twists, and wicked turns. I almost let drugs and alcohol ruin what I am today. I remember my son asking me where my friend were from high school, and the look on his face when I showed him. First I drove past the county jail and pointed. Right there sits some of them I told him. We drove for a bit more just talking about some of the stupid stuff I did as a kid, laughing at some of the stupidity. He didnt notice that my truck had come to a stop. I cut him off in mid sentence and said, there a a lot of them there...the graveyard.
He had a confused look on his face, but took it in. I then told him that I was one of the few from the crowd I ran with that did grow up. And that I found out that I didnt need to be like all the others to feel good or fit in.
Today, I look back on my days and wish I had a few of those boys and girls here with me today.... but that would of not taught me some of those lessons.
